This past weekend, I was reminded why culture and consent will forever be things we have to teach and learn. Example, just because you like a hip-hop artist or song and I'm standing next to you doesn't mean you are down or that you can touch me. IT NEVER WILL. I don't care how many drugs you're on, drinks you've had, or lyrics to Schoolboy Q you know, you put your hands on me I will remove them. When I remove them, respect it and do not violently touch me again.
These are command statements in a situation where there was no consent. That should be more than enough, but some boys feel that it's not and get their egos bruised when a girl says no. At this point, most people would remove themselves, I tried but there is fight starting further inside. Essentially everyone around me is now in a heightened state of alert, and I'm sort of over Schoolboy at this point, like I love you but it ain't worth it, so then we started to leave...insert boy from before. He was still butthurt. "Yeah that's right, get the f*(! out of here," I heard as I walked out. Honestly, I saw red for about 30 seconds and turned back quick. With a few explaItives reminded this kid I could and would end him if he didn't shut his mouth. I turned around seething racking my brain with why, but then remembered, this is the culture we live in.
Boys don't like being told no, especially in front of their friends. Boys also don't like their pride getting hurt, especially by someone they want to accept them in the cultural context of a rap concert. Here's the thing, I DO NOT CARE! You cannot grind on me and think it's okay because I look a certain way. You cannot push and shove me and only me because you are into the "hardcore" lyrics of a rap song. You can never say the n-word and it will be okay around me. PERIOD. If you need lessons in how to be a decent human being, since obviously, your mama didn't raise you right, this is my present to you: ask for consent before touching anyone, respect people as humans, do not appropriate anyone's culture, and do not say all lyrics in songs specifically the n-word. Be respectful. Be kind. Do better.